Hail to my personal favorite quartets!

IL DIVO


F4


The beatles!


98 Degrees (I remember watching you guys live in Manila!)


Hey! Thanks for the pic of F4.

My Birthday Wishlists

Camille Bloch chocolates
--The best thing is when they put liquor on it. I first had a try of Blochs when I was a kid and started loving it. It's a hard-find. Swiss chocolates have always been creamy, not too sweet and very smooth to swallow. The taste lingers like heaven. My second favorite is Lyndt. Godiva, Cadbury and Ferrero Rocher share the 3rd spot. That's it. Hershey's and Sees??? Come on...Give me a break!

Lacoste tennis shirts
--I admire the simplicity and it suits my preppy personality. I swear, I can wear it even when I'm old and gray. It doesn't go out of style--very basic. Some tennis shirts are so thick like RL and Eddie Bauer. I want Lacoste's material better. Off: Gin Tonic clothing apparel from Germany ist gutte too.

Books
--It's an addiction especially self-help books. I can live without a television. I love Architecture and travel books.

Johnny Walker BLUE LABEL
--I just want to know why the Former President of the Philippines was so addicted to it. What the heck?

My list of two most beautiful Filipinos for 2005

Donita


TJ

To Rissa, Nobel, Iynah, Kris, Kat, Cathy and Philip

Merry Christmas to you guys. Missed you soooooo much.

All I want for Christmas is chocolate covered cherries. I dreamt of it last night. Now you know.

As it gets fader through the years

When I was still a kid in our small town in the Philippines, Christmas is something that I really look forward to every year. No matter how meager my allowance was, I would go shopping for my grandpa, grandma, mom, dad, auntie and big sis and watch them open my gifts under our plastic Christmas tree after going to church in the early morning of Dec. 25. It's a nice practice that all of us were just literally exchanging our gifts since we buy gifts for each family member. That's the fun of it. Isn't it? I would often await what Santa would give me and that made me awake the whole night of Christmas eve to spy for him whom I later found out to be my parents sneaking out when we're soundly sleeping. I would recall writing Santa Claus or Nikolaus or Father Christmas of my wishlists. I wouldn't care how expensive the gifts so long as I have been a good kid (at home and school). One time, I asked for a train where I can sit down and ride. I got influenced by the movie Annie and her toys after her reunion with her family. Instead of the train, I got a robot, a small robot that I could grab my hands on. If I were not mistaken, this was the time of Transformers or Voltes 5. But anyhow, that fantasy ended after I punched a playmate and gave him a shiner for squealing who the real Santa was. Disappointed as I was, I rushed to my dad and confronted him. And finally, that playmate was right. My make believed world with my Santa Claus was over from then on. Christmas was made more fun with our Christmas carols. We would sing Christmas songs from each house and in return residents/friends would give us candies or cash(coins most of the time). Yes, I guess it's the our local version of trick or treat only that it was done on the Yuletide season. We would sometimes earn Php 200 in one night (eq. to $4) and divide the cash or candies among the 5 of us. It's rigorous, the rehearsals and performance that is. Next day, I won't have a voice anymore producing that guttural sound like cookie monster. I would chuckle and grin in silence how we would compete with other kids by singing English Christmas Songs--those popularized by the Jackson 5 are on the top of our chart. hehe. Sometimes, we would scare ourselves of some unoccupied old colonial houses, sing some lines in front of it and scamper(at the count of 3!) after the bark or howling of dogs as they chased us. We were kids, about 7 or 8 yo, I reckon. Yes, ghosts stories are famous in our town. I won't forget the times when all of my childhood friends would come home from Manila to celebrate Christmas with their families in the province. I was one of the returnees. For us, Christmas is about family. But when my grandparents died, I missed the times of choosing, buying and giving gifts to them. That lead to fewer reasons to celebrate Christmas. The two empty seats in the "Noche Buena"(a Filipino tradition adapted from the Spanish conquistadors meaning...the dinner banquet at 12 midnight of dec. 25) table, the cash gifts that I receive are nothing but a memory. Now that I am away from my family, friends and country, I guess there is no reason to celebrate Christmas. I do not discount that it's the birthday of the Messiah, the one who offered his life for us. But those "accessories" that come with my every Christmas are missing. Or is it me, who's missing?

An ordinary day

I rushed to beat the morning traffic to be on time for my appointment at the University of Hawaii in Manoa. It's kinda huge campus. Suddenly I had a feeling of nostalgia for my old university, the oldest in Asia: The University of Santo Tomas where you have a community inside the campus--dorms, hospital, post office, bank, football field, gym, church...awww..I can't get enough of it. Moving on, it was very motivating to hear from the Nursing Department Administrator that they would want me to be in their program(after looking on my grades, I guess). She sounded as if she was bribing me to join them. UH Manoa has an 18th month program for Nursing students who previously had their Bachelor's degree(of any field) completed. The only thing that pissed me off was I got a parking ticket and had to pay 15 bucks. I was really in a hurry and wasn't able to care about where to park. That was the last thing in my mind, the least priority, the dust of the day.

Karaoke night with my friends

Fall Semester is over!

I just finished my finals tonight and I was already smiling as soon as I walked out the door. I feel free from my daily obligations of endless reading. It's time to take a breather for 3 weeks(or less).

Chronicles of Narnia

After my final exam this afternoon, I headed to the movie theater, stood in line to watch the first day showing of the movie: Chronicles of Narnia, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.

As I was growing up, I have watched Willows, The Never Ending Story 1&2, The Labyrinthe, and the most recent Harry Potter. I would say that of all these fantasy movies I was drawn by the every captured emotion of Narnia.

True, there is a subliminal resemblance between this movie and the life of Jesus Christ. I wasn't surprise when my Catholic Church had a bookfair and sold out a lot of Narnia books.

But hey, after the movie, it left a warm reception of appreciation from the audience.

Jasmine Trias

I went to church last Sunday in Mililani and Jasmine Trias was sitting right beside me. Plain and Simple.

Ate Irene

Last night before I went to bed, my celphone rang without any number flashing on the screen. I had a feeling that somebody used a call card to call me or perhaps an international call in which my phone couldn't read the caller's number. But anyhow, I was surprised when that call came from Singapore and from a person I've known since high school. She is my favorite housemaid, Ate Irene. I was touched that she was able to keep my number after a year of silence. She left her family in the Philippines to work as a domestic helper in Singapore. We had a heartfelt talk about sacrifices, dreams and life. She told me, "Kuya TJ, kundi lang sa pamilya ko hindi ako pupunta dito sa Singapore para magpakahirap. May pangarap din naman ako".(Translation: "TJ, if not for my family, I won't go here to Singapore to suffer. I also have a dream".) On that very moment, I heard myself saying those kind of things to myself. I share the same dream to Filipinos who leave their country putting the ultimate sacrifice of leaving their loved ones behind. Their strong determination is a reflection of poor economy and that's where the drive to reverse the situation comes in. Personally, I still feel sorry to those people living here in Hawaii or in US in general who are wasting every opportunity by being out of school, bum and drug addicts. I wish I had the power of bringing in smarter people from the Philippines who are a step behind for not having a US working visa. Even a busboy's job here is equivalent to a pot of gold to any poor country. So to you Ate Irene, even if your master is not that generous by giving you only 1 day off in a month, just think that there are more people beneath us. Those people who don't know how to optimize their resources and those who are simply victims by being poor. You are not alone and I am with you on this battle.

Thanksgiving

Since we never celebrated Thanksgiving in the Philippines, I have no idea of what in store for me on Thursday. One thing I know for sure, there will be no school but I will have to work that day. I took a very tedious examination last Saturday and I'll get the results in 2 weeks. Whatever it is, I'm not saying. I know my family is of full support to me no matter what happens and they are just there in my corner forever. Perhaps the only way to do on Thursday is to have a brief moment of silence and be thankful to my Creator for every blessing He's been showering me all these years especially those that came after I moved here to my new country 2 years ago. It was not an easy path but with God's blessings I am still here making the best of each day for brighter mornings to come. This is my story; the real essence of my own Thanksgiving.

Very inspiring...

While I was busy as hell whining to myself why I only got 83% on my latest exam on anatomy, I came across this student, crippled on his power wheelchair, trying to insert his bill on the vending machine. As I approached to help, I noticed that he doesn't speak English. For going out of his way to study in a foreign country with less armaments than most of us have, I give him credit. I have no excuse of sometimes looking down on myself when some people, amidst their plight still manage to thrive, breathe and trudge with courage.

Schadenfreude!

The crowning moment

I'm just happy to say and share that for the record, since I continued my education here in the US last January 2005, I have already accomplished 9 As in all the 9 subjects I've taken and the scary part is, I'm still counting. Now, I wonder how it is being a Reconstructive surgeon. After reading my anatomy book in the evenings, I steal some of my time watching discovery health where they feature a graphic representation of the marvels of the medical world and the success stories that come with it as well. I'm just thinking that most doctors get into the peak of their career on their 40s. Not with me, I want it on my 30s. I'm still debating. But wait, my sister is already a doctor and my future brother in law is a lawyer. My dad is a lawyer, my mom is a nurse. Let's see...I'll just jockey for Healthcare Administration so there's a diversity in our family. Does it make sense?

What's your number?

You Are the Achiever

3 You're confident and competent - with a lot of energy. Eager to reach your goals, you are aambitious and competitive. You are good at movtivating yourself and motivating others. You're also a charmer, with a great sense of humor.

What number are you?

I've been turning down 90% of friendly invitations for the past 3 months but I really had to give in on this one.

Uneventful

I think the busy-ness in my life have gotten its way into my system already. With the usual stress, I am still happy and this is how I want my life to be. Because I know one day, there is a pot of gold waiting for me at the very end of the rainbow.

WTF!

What will you do when you were up since 4am, went to work at 6am, went to school at 6pm and on your way home at 8pm; when a non-compliant driver, towing his yacht would just whiz past ahead of you like a fish tail, suddenly stopped in front of you without putting his hazard lights on, went out of his truck for a minute or two while you were caught clueless with his intentions, and your stomach grumbling for food sending signals to your brain to go home, eat and sleep.

In my case, I had to get out of my car to confront that f**kin' driver. I can't blame those following me to be shocked on what they saw.

Well I think my aggresiveness would always show in times of heavy provocation.

Sorry Jesus.

TJ talks about Relationships

At this very fast spinning stage of my life, sometimes it really pays off to stop and ponder on some things that I never understood before.

Being in a relationship is not a fulfillment of a need. It exists to make you a better person. Don't indulge yourself of what you can get from it but instead of what you can give to make it work. You also don't have to say to your partner, "I need you to complete me". Geez, you should feel complete first to before you enter into any commitments.

There are no accidents in God's plan. If God desires you to be single, He wants you to be more appreciative when the right one comes along. Please go by quality. Don't be in a rush because when you are pressured, you miss to enjoy the little things that make up the bigger things. If it happens it happens, if not, buy a lotto ticket and you might win on the next draw.

Insecurity is a silent killer. Learn how to love yourself before you expect others to love you back. Moreover, insecurity per se is one of the root causes of jealousy that could ruin the relationship. If you have invested too much goodness that worth to last, the other person is not dumb to take those for granted.

On the 1st, 2nd, 3rd or even the nth date, never talk about of how many children you want to have or anything about wanting a family. Never go to a Ben Bridge or Tiffany's with the other person and check rings; nor even go to a baby section in the department store. This is because you being addicted in taking Expectorant, that's why you always expect! haha Never make promises; nothing is written in stone. It is more special if you keep that promise to yourself and work on it for the relationship to last. Take the day as it is and enjoy.

Give the other person a chance to know you creating a veil of mystery. You don't really have to say in litany where you came from, how much your allowance in grade 3 and how many you are in the family. It will just come out naturally on its own. Avoid making a fruit to ripe to soon. Even disclosing your age is still your choice.

Don't overanalyze too much. If the other person failed to check on you, always give the benefit of the doubt. Always feel calm and secured.

Don't say I love you too often but don't forget to say thank you. Saying I love you all the time loses its meaning when you really mean it.

On caffeine supplement

without it, i'd be languidly inept piece of furniture.

I'm tied up like a Hollywood Star!

Mein Vati verließ gerade für Manila heute nachmittag. Sehen Sie ya wieder, Papa. Irgendwie ist es sehr hart für mich gewesen, Zeit für mich zu finden. Ich habe eine enorme Menge meiner Zeit gleichzeitig studierend und arbeitend gesetzt. Aber he, was mit mir neu ist. Die Mamma eines nahen Freunds schickte mir eine ärgerliche Anzeige an meinem Telefon. Was das war, sage ich es nicht hier. 4 Fehler in meiner Prüfung konnten den pazifischen Ozean zu Blut zu meiner Verachtung früh machen. Ich fange an, mich wieder zu lieben. Es ist nett, von Zeit betrunken und geisteskrank zu erhalten zu Zeit. Zählen Sie Ihren Segen!

Auf Wiedersehen, Marius.

Marius, do not go to the airport at 7am when you're flight is 9pm in the evening ok? That was hilarious. Good thing I was off to pick you up again. I know, Germans are notoriously punctual. lol. Pick me up in Frankfurt in May.

So Much Happened...let me count the ways.

1. The funeral of my grams went fine at Valley of the Temple. After 15 years, I have seen again some of my cousins. (and some I just saw for the very first time). That was cool.

2. I got another A again in my class. The subject is Human Development(sociology and psychology combined). 7 A's and counting. Current GPA= 4.0.

3. My cousin taught me how to download pirated psp games; very complicated. At last, I'm able to play games I played last when I was a kid: legend of zelda, pacman, pinball and my own personal favorite, super mario brothers. It's amazing you can play them all in your psp.

4. Vacation for 1 week and on monday is the start of another ball game, the fall 2005. I'm going to take Anatomy and Physiology at KCC. It'll be after work again but who cares.

5. My dad is here in Hawaii so I'm trying to entertain him no matter how busy as hell I am.

A long day

I had to bring my Deutsch friend to Pearl Harbor as early as 10am only to get the 2.30pm schedule. What a drag! I just can't say no to him coz it would be so rude especially he's not from here. Watching the documentary clip for the 2nd time put me to sleep. He went to sit in in my class to observe the American way of teaching. Overall, the entire day was fun. We shared the Engbeetin hopia together 'coz we're really hungry. hehe.

Off: The wake service of my grandma is on August 13, 2005 at Saint Filomena church in Salt Lake, 6 to 9pm.

Kirara: My little bundle of joy

My friend Donna.

Red Lobster

We ate at Red Lobster. yum yum.

When Manila Meets Freiburg

Beauty and the Beast

It's now 11.30pm, just got home and I won't sleep yet 'til I share my review of Beauty and the Beast (now playing at Diamond Head Theater). The play is as ravishing as its Broadway counterpart albeit being short to some special effects. Well for a local production, it is indeed good enough. I remember being called in by the producers to audition for it but that was the day after I arrived from New York and chose to spend that afternoon with a friend. I could've been a part of the production but my tight schedule with school and work would force me to quit later on. Marius called me up if I could join him to watch a movie in Waikiki, i think he was pertaining to the free movie while you lay on the sand. Unfortunately, I had to decline because of Beauty and the Beast. Anyway, I'm seeing him tomorrow so what the heck. Anyhow, I was even happier because my credits for my Calculus and Managerial Economics subjects from Manila was already evaluated and transferred to UH. And guess what, another 2 As on my belt. That advanced me to 1 semester. The goal is to have a 4.0 average and to graduate summa cum laude in Nursing and go to Harvard for MBA in the long run. I think the power of Ying Yang is working for me. Before I sleep, I'd like to share this thought: "The walking wounded are still bound to care for the more seriously injured". Sometimes we would whine but there are a lot more people below us who chose to stay quiet amidst their adversities. So to you folks, count your blessings. That's the golden mantra!

Tired...

showing around Marius all day.

German friends are here!

well, my friends from Germany are finally here. =-) They want me to go with them in Maui but my schedule is so tight. But who knows? Actually my German friend is taking summer classes in University of Hawaii and his friend came over too. Wow...Party party party.

The Perfect Person

the perfect person by j.m. whitaker

For as long as I can remember, I have been searching
for the perfect girl. Since I was old enough to begin
longing for female companionship, I have been on the
hunt. I guess it started out as just a simple dream or
fantasy, not unlike most of us. The strange thing
about it was that it never stayed just a dream or a
fantasy. The more people I dated, the more times I was
let down, the more I hungered for that perfect person,
the one that would fill all of my needs and desires,
the one that would never let me down.

I dated girl after girl. Some of them were great while
others got me into some trouble. Some of them made me
laugh, but a lot of them made me cry. Through my
journey, I found a lot of joy and a lot of sorrow, a
lot of happiness and a lot of pain, but never the
perfect girl. I had dreamed about her. Dark hair,
darker eyes, a slim figure tinted golden brown from
the sun. She had an accent and could play the cello.
She would love to talk, but wouldn't expect me to talk
too much. She would always ask me how my day was and
would always have a smile on her face; absolute
perfection. I began to devise methods in how I would
meet the girls I would date.

I knew I wanted an intelligent girl, so I hung out in
libraries and museums. I meet this real crazy girl at
a library after school one day. She was smart and sexy
and, well? crazy. I would rather not go into a lot of
details about it. Let's just say she had some real
deep-seated anxieties about our relationship and,
consequentially, our break up.

I knew I wanted an artistic girl, so I went to music
stores and coffee shops, I even tried a couple of
classical concerts. I met this wonderfully cute girl
who dressed really dark and loved to write poetry. She
was great, we used to stay up all night long talking
about the silliest things, but she ended up dumping me
for some guy who did drugs and rode a motorcycle. I
got into a car accident with a girl driving a Pontiac
Sunfire. She had no driver's license or car insurance,
but she did have a really great smile and the
prettiest hair. Instead of calling the police, we
called in sick and went out to eat.

We dated for a while but eventually came across an
irreconcilable difference in opinions. She didn't
always feel the need to come "straight home" after
work. Okay, to be honest, toward the end of our
relationship, she rarely came home at all.

Then there was the girl from the International House
of Pancakes. She was an exact replica of my
personality. I mean if you had met us both over some
Internet chat room, you would swear we were the same
person using multiple screen-names. Sounds sweet, huh?
Have you ever considered marrying yourself? Have you
ever thought about growing old together, just you and
yourself? We both found that the whole idea of finding
that "perfect person" was to find someone different
from yourself to fulfill the empty spots within you.

I searched every where. I left no rock unturned, no
leaf moved aside, but to no avail. After much pain and
heartache, I began to believe that the perfect girl
just did not exist. Then one day, I found her.

Her name was Malia. She was from Hawaii, raised in
Italy. She wore silk pajama pants to bed. She had
written a novel. She loved the beach and hated cats,
just like me. She had silky, dark and curly hair that
swayed perfectly if the breeze was right. She had a
caramel colored body, etched out of a block of pure
perfection, and her face was that of an angel. From
the very first time I saw her, I could not seem to
take my eyes away from hers. She was like a siren,
calling my name, beckoning me closer to her, even when
she was asleep. The attraction was complete, with no
faults, no annoyances. Every time she spoke she
mesmerized me and every time she moved she amazed me.
She was... well, perfect. Oh, and did I mention she
played the cello?

We spent all the extra time we had together. We spent
so much time together that we decided to move in
together. We were paying rent on two places, but one
of them was doing nothing but collecting dust. We
would sit on the porch when it rained and hold each
other. We would lay on the beach and soak up a sweet
combination of sunrays and pina coladas. Life was
good. No, life was perfect and I knew it just couldn't
possibly get any better than it was right then and
there.

Two years later, Malia left me for a
career-opportunity at a really prominent university in
Europe. There were no harsh words, no angry feelings,
not even any sad good-byes. She was so perfect that if
she wanted to leave, I wanted it for her. That is,
until she was gone.

I cried for days, and began to drink for weeks after
that. I felt as if my life was over, that the only
reason that I had existed was gone, and every breath I
took from that moment on was a futile attempt to hold
on to something I later found I never had: The Perfect
Love.

Malia was perfect. She was perfect in each and every
single way, but I was not. Our love for each other was
a deeply committed one, but it was far from perfect. I
know that now, but if I could go back in time to tell
myself that in an attempt to save myself from all of
that pain and suffering, I fear I would not have
listened to myself.

I slept with many women, sometimes a different girl
every week. I drank excessively and spent all of my
money on temporary satisfaction, anything to ease the
pain. But the pain did not ease, it only grew
stronger. It became a vicious circle of self-inflicted
torture that eventually brought me to my knees and
forced me to open my eyes to the real world. But not
before it made me a bitter man.

I was wiser, but to this day, the decisions made left
a coldness in my eyes that made my heart appear as
lead to anyone who dared look. I became a loner,
staying home on the weekends, saving my money for a
healthy but lonely retirement, having accepted my
fate. I was to be alone for the rest of my life.

Kathy with a K. Actually, her name is spelled Kathyrn.
Quite peculiar, but I didn't think so until later. For
the longest time, I never even knew her name. But she
was a sight for sore and lonely eyes. I saw her at
work. I was her boss (actually, I was her boss' boss)
and did not want to risk the chance of even speaking
to her. She was just too beautiful, and I had become a
beast with a past too horrible to mention. I would
just watch her as she passed my office every day. She
didn't walk, she frolicked, and I would sneak out for
a break whenever she did just to watch that
frolicking.

She smiled every time someone spoke to her, a smile
like the early morning sun, and her eyes were so dark
that you couldn't see her pupils, only the glimmering
from the light that made her eyes look like two bright
stars. I was under her spell and I didn't even know
her name. One day, watching her outside, I convinced
myself to ask around about her. Find out her name and
maybe even find out if she was seeing someone. Just as
I had decided that she spoke to me. Kathy with a K.
She ended up asking me out, you know. I told her I
couldn't that night because I had to work late.

Actually, I was too scared. I called her and asked her
if she wanted to go to Starbucks after work the next
day and she agreed. It turned out to be the most
romantic night of both of our lives. We were both
still pretty new in town and didn't really know our
way around. I had no idea what I was going to do or
where I was going to take her next so I winged it the
whole way. Like I said, it turned out to be the most
romantic night of both of our lives. It was perfect.

She was not perfect, but neither was I. We both
carried a truckload of emotional baggage and we both
had a mountain of flaws. But it was perfect. She would
always forget to plug in her cell phone at night, but
I would always remind her. I couldn't do laundry worth
a flip, but she showed me how. She could never get to
work on time, and she hated to drive, but we both had
to be at work on time so I drove us both there.
Whenever she was slacking I was always right over her
shoulder, and when I would lose track of what I was
trying to do, she would help to keep me focused. We
complemented each other in every single way. Neither
of us was perfect, but we were perfect for each other.


When you're out there looking for that perfect person
keep these things in mind. People change, no matter
how hard they try not to. As you grow older you
mature, and with each new level of maturity comes
different ideas, different needs and wants. The person
who was perfect for you at twenty could be the person
you hate when you're thirty-five. You have to find
some one who will grow with you, change with you,
laugh with you and cry with you. A person who fills in
where you lack, a person whom you can fill in for when
they are lacking. But what about the perfect person,
you ask? They do not exist. Even Malia was not perfect
because the perfect girl in mydreams was supposed to
stay with me.

There are no perfect people, only people who are
perfect for each other.

You deserve to be happy not in the arms of someone who
keeps you waiting but in the arms of someone who will
take you now, love you forever and leave you never..

Hail to my country

As my Philippines is currently beset by political turmoil, I hope she could find the light soon. I realized that wealth, prestige and power could make a good leader evil. We don't have to be dirty on politics. Have we come this way now?

Credo

Max Ehrmann


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.


Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.


Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.


You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.


With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

The fortune teller

A trip around the world is in store for you
With it a great deal of happiness too.
You will have unlimited money
And life for you will be very sunny.

You are a very serious person, and have had little time to relax. But your future looks very bright. You are a fastidious person, and your surroundings have the power of making you very happy and miserable. Do not seek for new friends. Your old ones are very worth while. You have a stubborn nature, but sometimes you yield to persuasion of those you love.

from the soothsayer at Dave and Buster's.

I agree. I agree. I agree.

See ya soon guys!

Cousins and uncle, miss you guys!



my nieces with kuya junjun


kuya rodel and kuya junjun

A pat on my own shoulder, encore.

Yeah...the thrill seeker, the partygoer and the drinker did it again!!!

What is it?

TJ got another A! Again? Again? Again?

The Goal within 20 years.

Last year, I got the certificate from KCC(i took their Spring 2004 ARCH class) and the State of Hawaii to operate a carehome facility. That plan was put aside pro tempore to meet the demands of my schooling. After I get my RN degree, I'll be more confident to operate one. Then, I can apply my skills in Business Administration and Nursing. In God's time, I'd like to branch out in California and Nevada where a carehome facility is also deemed a lucrative business. I already did a feasibility study on this one. The healthcare business in the next 10-20 years will boom like crazy since the baby boomers(a worldwide phenomenon)would all be needing healthcare services all at the same time. This will be chaotic that we would be needing more nurses and caregivers here and abroad. The Federal Government would be short on its budget to send all the elderlies to nursing homes which costs $7000/mo compared to a carehome that would only cost them around $1,200-2000/month(case to case basis) datum: 2005. When all goes well, I can get my masters in Healthcare Management or Masters in Business Administration perhaps in UCLA or Harvard(either or) or Univ of Pennsylvania-Wharton School of Business. I'd like to advance the business to a retirement home in the long run. My function would be more of an administrator than direct bedside care. In this case, I could help my relatives in the Philippines to work for me and improve their lives here in the United States. My sister who is a doctor can also contribute her knowledge on the game. With this goal in mind, I always strive for excellence and perservere on my studies as if my energy is boundless. Eventhough, I wipe the asses of unknown patients, I know it'd be a good training ground for my dreams to materialize. The end here afterall is not making money although it's incidental. It is extending my arms of helping other people in a grander scale. Nothing is written in stone. I just keep my faith in God that everything could happen in His time.

The first class Filipinos haha.

I miss our university days in Manila.(classmates and cheating mates)

I hope matters of the heart are ok with you now, Nobel.

Congratulations to my friend iynah in LA(the one in green)--the New Del Monte Tomatoes Supervisor for Production. And to Kristine in Vegas, I'm happy coz things are coming your way now. I wish I could move to the mainland with you 'coz that's where the competitive Filipinos belong. Those who would gossip about the economy and not other people.

On keeping friends...

I heard this comment again. Some people regard me as snob; that I'm selective with friends. Partly true because with so much friends, I have reached the point wherein I have to go by quality. I have all the means to be popular in all the clubs here but it doesn't sit right by me. I always want to be incognito and be recognized only by the people I care about. For me, privacy is priceless.

Eureka!

Current Mood: Happy.
Why? secret.

Visit the Philippine Islands
A service by Philippine Department of Tourism

Broke.

Now I'm contemplating whether or not I should've accepted that 80 bucks from my patient. But in times like this, true character is tested. I have realized that no matter how heavy the load is, I should not compromise my integrity because that's the only one--integrity left of me. I can be broke, but it's only my pocket...not my spirit. Some events are untimely but I couldn't help it. Maybe that's how God measures me. He will stretch me sooo much like a rubberband and look if im still gonna come back to my original size. Luckily I did. I always do.

Your tip is good but...

A very rich patient gave me $80 dollars. I accepted so she won't feel bad but later on, I turned it in to my supervisor. It's not that it's against our policy nor it's my call of duty, but I just don't want to feel indebted to anybody. I hate the feeling of paying them back in return through your good deeds. And when you fail, they'll take it against you. To be safe, I don't accept in gratis, unless we're really close.

Proud to be pinoyz!!!

WATCHING A CONCERT WITH JORDAN SEGUNDO AT BLAISDELL, HAWAII.

On losing...

Losing something or someone gives you more space and chances to welcome and receive. Every hurt and pain gives you tolerance and strength, as well as the wisdom of knowing how to heal oneself. Every sadness and bitterness makes you appreciate life’s other joys. Every shortcoming and inadequacy makes you realize the fact that you can’t have everything, and that you need not worry about having and hoarding too much. Everything is a blessing. As a song I repeatedly sing goes, “Count your blessings instead of sheep… and you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings.”

--an excerpt from my friend, Paulette.

I'm losing my grip...

I got a phone call at 1am this morning to hear a tragic news from the Philippines. My cousin whom I treated as my older brother passed away in a vehicular accident WITH HIS TWO LITTLE DAUGHTERS, aged 7 and 8. His wife, the eldest son(10 yo) and the 4 month old baby survived. 'Twas devastating to our clan. How do you manage a funeral of 3 people in one day? My nieces are so young and innocent.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
To change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

God, give me the courage to hide my tears more. Help me to be always strong so I can be a pillar of strength to my family and friends. I'm already loosing my grip because it's already too much for one heart. Give me more energy for my work and school.

TJ, the warrior, is a CHILD

Warrior is a Child

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because his armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

I drop my sword and look up for His smile
Because deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
The Warrior is a Child

SAD

I just found out that a friend would have a hard time recovering from his knee injury. A permanent loss of a body function is like burying half of yourself alive. Morbid but true. Just my prayers for you, P!

Lotsa things to do...so little time.

I had fun in Kahala last night in a friend's place.(just hanging out on the pool with refreshing Zinfandel) hehe. I've been thinking of learning French, painting, culinary arts and piano but I'm busy with work and school but I know, I can squeeze them in. Sleep is a luxury. I need a massage. French Riviera, here I come.

When to let go...and I did.

Imagine this. In your hand is a very precious
creation, so fragile, so
valuable that if you keep on holding, it would
either stay or fall apart.
But you loved this creature so much, so much that
letting it go would be
like letting go of your life as well. So much that
sometimes you wished it
would be there forever. So much that you tend to
be selfish at times so as
you could make it stay for as long as you like.

Don't we all wish something "so good" could be
forever? Don't we all hope
that happiness is there to stay?


One person said, never ever let your heart run
your life, as much as you
can, always be sensible and let your mind speak
for itself. Try to listen
not merely on what your feelings is invoking on
you as a person but more
importantly listen to reason as well.


Letting go of someone doesn't necessarily mean you
have to stop loving, it
only means that you allow that person to find his
own happiness without
expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just
setting the other
person free (in the real sense of it), but it is
also setting yourself
free from all animosity, revulsion, and resentment
that was long kept in
your heart. You have to let go because the
bitterness often puts away the
strengths and weakens the least hope, making
our lives more miserable
than ever. Worst, presenting yourself as the "most
affected one" sets the
nastiest impression of all time--whatta a loser!


The trick there is...always remember that if you
lose someone today, it
means that someone better is coming tomorrow.


If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed
in love...right? Just
regard it as another mismatch of heaven! Well, you
can cry of course, or
whine or shout (growl even) if you have to, but
make sure that after those
outbursts you have washed away the hurt and the
bitterness that the past
has left with you (easy said than done I know!).


We can all survive with just beautiful memories of
the past but real peace
and happiness come only with open acceptance of
what reality is today. You
really don't have to forget someone you love
('cause it's hard). What we
need to learn is how to accept the verdict of
reality without being bitter
or sorry for what we have become. I think it's
better that we give off
that dedication and love to someone more
deserving. Hmmm..."Who could it
be" is the next interesting question to ponder.


Let go of yesterday and love will find its way
back to you. And when it
does, pray hard that it may be the love that will
stay and last a
lifetime.

There is life after the pain.

I'm stressed out...

A loved one is dying...I can't focus...I'm lost.

People always ask me what propels me...I'm not saying.

"R" is one of the few persons whom I draw strength and motivation from whenever I feel indolent in my lame reasons. Considering that he has 2 Mcdonalds fast food chains(more or less $1M dollar each to franchise) in the Philippines to manage, this guy is still in medical school, sacrificing and still burning the midnight oil--day in and day out. I would understand if he came from a poor family, that he wants to live in comfort someday. When I got to chat with him yesterday, I was blown by his determination--that he wants to accomplish something apart from the laurels his family had achieved. I told him that if I don't become successful here in the US, I always have my soft bed of support to fall down to... but still I chose the hardest way and this is the only way. My friend is only 23 and he's graduating next year. The scary part is, he's getting better.

In this case, I don't have to go to Abe Lincoln and his uphill struggles before making it to Presidency. Just close friends with their repository of successful stories are enough to motivate me.

I wake up each day to:

Serve my God, study to get As, work hard, get rich, help people, travel the world and die happy.

I'm a double sided blade: the other half is a dreamer/achiever, the other side is a crazy, fun-loving and playful guy. It's just that I know when to play and to get serious.

The nerd, the traveler and the daredevil

Did you watch the movie: A Shark's Tail? lol

With grandpa's visit to Waikiki.

Wahoo!

i've been nursing a loved one in the hospital.

Vent out, TJ.

I won't pass on this one. I hate it when people would set me up for reconciliation with a person whom I haven't talked for a long time (2 years now). The desire of making amends is not something to be done in public; it is something personal and not for public consumption. If they want it, we can cordon off the whole Time Square or the whole Roman Coliseum to make fake "sorries". My blood pressure really shot up when I saw the fiend as we were both invited on a friend's graduation party. I can't stand it, that's why I walked away and made my backdoor exit. I have been leading my life without any contact with the person so why would it bother me to live the rest of my life without having any ties at all. I can forgive on my next life, but not on this lifetime. I cannot just play politics with this people. Being civil is beside the point. My ears are all red and I can feel the heat flushing on my nape. I wanna hit and leave you a harelip so you can have your rice coming out of your nose. Bullshit.

Thank God.

I feel blessed acing all my subjects. To my most borderline subject, english that is, this Oscar goes to special friends/classmates who helped me through with my essays--Iynah(LA,USA), Paulette(Abu Dhabi,UAE)and Charm (Manila, Philippines). I won't be able to make it without you. Symbiosis. In the event that you need me, don't hesitate.

Some things are better left unsaid