When I was still a kid in our small town in the Philippines, Christmas is something that I really look forward to every year. No matter how meager my allowance was, I would go shopping for my grandpa, grandma, mom, dad, auntie and big sis and watch them open my gifts under our plastic Christmas tree after going to church in the early morning of Dec. 25. It's a nice practice that all of us were just literally exchanging our gifts since we buy gifts for each family member. That's the fun of it. Isn't it? I would often await what Santa would give me and that made me awake the whole night of Christmas eve to spy for him whom I later found out to be my parents sneaking out when we're soundly sleeping. I would recall writing Santa Claus or Nikolaus or Father Christmas of my wishlists. I wouldn't care how expensive the gifts so long as I have been a good kid (at home and school). One time, I asked for a train where I can sit down and ride. I got influenced by the movie Annie and her toys after her reunion with her family. Instead of the train, I got a robot, a small robot that I could grab my hands on. If I were not mistaken, this was the time of Transformers or Voltes 5. But anyhow, that fantasy ended after I punched a playmate and gave him a shiner for squealing who the real Santa was. Disappointed as I was, I rushed to my dad and confronted him. And finally, that playmate was right. My make believed world with my Santa Claus was over from then on. Christmas was made more fun with our Christmas carols. We would sing Christmas songs from each house and in return residents/friends would give us candies or cash(coins most of the time). Yes, I guess it's the our local version of trick or treat only that it was done on the Yuletide season. We would sometimes earn Php 200 in one night (eq. to $4) and divide the cash or candies among the 5 of us. It's rigorous, the rehearsals and performance that is. Next day, I won't have a voice anymore producing that guttural sound like cookie monster. I would chuckle and grin in silence how we would compete with other kids by singing English Christmas Songs--those popularized by the Jackson 5 are on the top of our chart. hehe. Sometimes, we would scare ourselves of some unoccupied old colonial houses, sing some lines in front of it and scamper(at the count of 3!) after the bark or howling of dogs as they chased us. We were kids, about 7 or 8 yo, I reckon. Yes, ghosts stories are famous in our town. I won't forget the times when all of my childhood friends would come home from Manila to celebrate Christmas with their families in the province. I was one of the returnees. For us, Christmas is about family. But when my grandparents died, I missed the times of choosing, buying and giving gifts to them. That lead to fewer reasons to celebrate Christmas. The two empty seats in the "Noche Buena"(a Filipino tradition adapted from the Spanish conquistadors meaning...the dinner banquet at 12 midnight of dec. 25) table, the cash gifts that I receive are nothing but a memory. Now that I am away from my family, friends and country, I guess there is no reason to celebrate Christmas. I do not discount that it's the birthday of the Messiah, the one who offered his life for us. But those "accessories" that come with my every Christmas are missing. Or is it me, who's missing?