Broke.

Now I'm contemplating whether or not I should've accepted that 80 bucks from my patient. But in times like this, true character is tested. I have realized that no matter how heavy the load is, I should not compromise my integrity because that's the only one--integrity left of me. I can be broke, but it's only my pocket...not my spirit. Some events are untimely but I couldn't help it. Maybe that's how God measures me. He will stretch me sooo much like a rubberband and look if im still gonna come back to my original size. Luckily I did. I always do.

Your tip is good but...

A very rich patient gave me $80 dollars. I accepted so she won't feel bad but later on, I turned it in to my supervisor. It's not that it's against our policy nor it's my call of duty, but I just don't want to feel indebted to anybody. I hate the feeling of paying them back in return through your good deeds. And when you fail, they'll take it against you. To be safe, I don't accept in gratis, unless we're really close.

Proud to be pinoyz!!!

WATCHING A CONCERT WITH JORDAN SEGUNDO AT BLAISDELL, HAWAII.

On losing...

Losing something or someone gives you more space and chances to welcome and receive. Every hurt and pain gives you tolerance and strength, as well as the wisdom of knowing how to heal oneself. Every sadness and bitterness makes you appreciate life’s other joys. Every shortcoming and inadequacy makes you realize the fact that you can’t have everything, and that you need not worry about having and hoarding too much. Everything is a blessing. As a song I repeatedly sing goes, “Count your blessings instead of sheep… and you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings.”

--an excerpt from my friend, Paulette.

I'm losing my grip...

I got a phone call at 1am this morning to hear a tragic news from the Philippines. My cousin whom I treated as my older brother passed away in a vehicular accident WITH HIS TWO LITTLE DAUGHTERS, aged 7 and 8. His wife, the eldest son(10 yo) and the 4 month old baby survived. 'Twas devastating to our clan. How do you manage a funeral of 3 people in one day? My nieces are so young and innocent.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
To change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

God, give me the courage to hide my tears more. Help me to be always strong so I can be a pillar of strength to my family and friends. I'm already loosing my grip because it's already too much for one heart. Give me more energy for my work and school.

TJ, the warrior, is a CHILD

Warrior is a Child

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armour
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because his armour is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

I drop my sword and look up for His smile
Because deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
Deep inside this armour
The Warrior is a Child

SAD

I just found out that a friend would have a hard time recovering from his knee injury. A permanent loss of a body function is like burying half of yourself alive. Morbid but true. Just my prayers for you, P!

Lotsa things to do...so little time.

I had fun in Kahala last night in a friend's place.(just hanging out on the pool with refreshing Zinfandel) hehe. I've been thinking of learning French, painting, culinary arts and piano but I'm busy with work and school but I know, I can squeeze them in. Sleep is a luxury. I need a massage. French Riviera, here I come.

When to let go...and I did.

Imagine this. In your hand is a very precious
creation, so fragile, so
valuable that if you keep on holding, it would
either stay or fall apart.
But you loved this creature so much, so much that
letting it go would be
like letting go of your life as well. So much that
sometimes you wished it
would be there forever. So much that you tend to
be selfish at times so as
you could make it stay for as long as you like.

Don't we all wish something "so good" could be
forever? Don't we all hope
that happiness is there to stay?


One person said, never ever let your heart run
your life, as much as you
can, always be sensible and let your mind speak
for itself. Try to listen
not merely on what your feelings is invoking on
you as a person but more
importantly listen to reason as well.


Letting go of someone doesn't necessarily mean you
have to stop loving, it
only means that you allow that person to find his
own happiness without
expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just
setting the other
person free (in the real sense of it), but it is
also setting yourself
free from all animosity, revulsion, and resentment
that was long kept in
your heart. You have to let go because the
bitterness often puts away the
strengths and weakens the least hope, making
our lives more miserable
than ever. Worst, presenting yourself as the "most
affected one" sets the
nastiest impression of all time--whatta a loser!


The trick there is...always remember that if you
lose someone today, it
means that someone better is coming tomorrow.


If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed
in love...right? Just
regard it as another mismatch of heaven! Well, you
can cry of course, or
whine or shout (growl even) if you have to, but
make sure that after those
outbursts you have washed away the hurt and the
bitterness that the past
has left with you (easy said than done I know!).


We can all survive with just beautiful memories of
the past but real peace
and happiness come only with open acceptance of
what reality is today. You
really don't have to forget someone you love
('cause it's hard). What we
need to learn is how to accept the verdict of
reality without being bitter
or sorry for what we have become. I think it's
better that we give off
that dedication and love to someone more
deserving. Hmmm..."Who could it
be" is the next interesting question to ponder.


Let go of yesterday and love will find its way
back to you. And when it
does, pray hard that it may be the love that will
stay and last a
lifetime.

There is life after the pain.

I'm stressed out...

A loved one is dying...I can't focus...I'm lost.

People always ask me what propels me...I'm not saying.

"R" is one of the few persons whom I draw strength and motivation from whenever I feel indolent in my lame reasons. Considering that he has 2 Mcdonalds fast food chains(more or less $1M dollar each to franchise) in the Philippines to manage, this guy is still in medical school, sacrificing and still burning the midnight oil--day in and day out. I would understand if he came from a poor family, that he wants to live in comfort someday. When I got to chat with him yesterday, I was blown by his determination--that he wants to accomplish something apart from the laurels his family had achieved. I told him that if I don't become successful here in the US, I always have my soft bed of support to fall down to... but still I chose the hardest way and this is the only way. My friend is only 23 and he's graduating next year. The scary part is, he's getting better.

In this case, I don't have to go to Abe Lincoln and his uphill struggles before making it to Presidency. Just close friends with their repository of successful stories are enough to motivate me.

I wake up each day to:

Serve my God, study to get As, work hard, get rich, help people, travel the world and die happy.

I'm a double sided blade: the other half is a dreamer/achiever, the other side is a crazy, fun-loving and playful guy. It's just that I know when to play and to get serious.